YES I AM!!!!! Apple's set to make crazy announcements about crazy products that'll shock the world. It's supposed to be a surprise as the teaser invitation above suggests but then we all know that it's a tablet... but then what if they're also announcing something more? Like the new iPhone OS or the new iPhone (yeah I dream quite a lot). What about the tablet itself? We're all expected to be wowed in more than one way, but what if it comes out and totally completely pwns the Kindle and the Nook and everything? OMGOMGOMG. A friend said this has to be the most anticipated gadget announcement of all time and I'm starting to agree. OMGOMGOMGOMG. To ease the pain called waiting I've made up a wish-list of features I want the tablet to have. I'm starting with the obvious ones and then onto the more far-fetched:
- Long battery life (at least longer than 1 full day of continuous use);
- 3G (because finding a WiFi hotspot is a pain);
- WiFi (because some stupid places in this planet just doesn't get 3G coverage);
- GPS (or else it doesn't qualify as a gadget);
- OLED or at least LED backlit screen (LCD is very 2008);
- a very awesome touchscreen input method (because all the existing ones for large touchscreens suck);
- Bluetooth compatibility with Apple wireless keyboard (because even the most awesome input method sucks at times);
- at least 64gb internal memory or an expandable memory slot;
- ability to run all mac programs and not just the ones pre-approved by some stupid store;
- ability to run the Pokerstars client (or else I can't justify bringing it on trips);
- some e-ink equivalent/comparable display (for easy book reading);
- some sort of coolness that rewards me for owning the iMac, the Macbook, and the iPhone (like allowing it to act as 2nd display (dreaming again)).
That basically wraps it up. OMG I'm SO counting down to 10AM PST!!!!
Apple might think it's going to change the world tomorrow withsome sort of crazy tablet, but we're here to tell you that the world has already changed. American humans will soon be able to buy a product called "Puppy Tweets," a product actually designed, tested, and released by the Mattel corporation. First, you need a dog with a Twitter account. (Who doesn't have one of those?) Then, you need to use $30 of your actual money to buy Puppy Tweets, a plastic sound-and-motion sensor that clips onto your dog's collar and sends out several pre-written tweets that have extreme amounts of dignity, like "YAHOOOOOOO! Somedays you just gotta get your bark on." Then you have to weep gently for the future of our society.
This is just sad. Now where can I get one for my dog?